Open Letter

So here we are, time for me to stand on my soap box and call yet another jerk off out.  This particular man stated this to the press earlier this week:

“I believe the Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties, and Property of the People,”. He went on to say: “This is being done at the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial level. This is in direct opposition to the Constitution and the Founding Fathers vision for the Federal government,”  and so:  “Because I believe this, today (Monday) I exercised my right as a Free Citizen, and did not visit the White House. This was not about politics or party, as in my opinion both parties are responsible for the situation we are in as a country. This was about a choice I had to make as an INDIVIDUAL.”

Dear Tim Thomas,

Let me start out by saying I am NOT a sports fan, in fact, I only know you exist because I have family (and a few friends….but not sure why we even get along) that are Bruins fans.  I don’t know anything about your career prior to you playing hockey with us, nor do I care to know anything about it.  What I do know is that as part of the winning team you have the honor of meeting the President of the United States, and you turned down that honor out of……what?  Principal?  You stated it wasn’t parties or politics so…….what?

Let’s put aside that I am an Obama supporter.  Even IF there was a republican in the White House and I got the once in a lifetime chance to shake hands and meet the President I would put my best Gucci clad foot forward, throw on my matching Gucci bag and RUN to the White House.  Must I remind you that you were asked to be a guest there so he could give YOU accolades?  You did not have to support him, you don’t even have to like him, all you had to do was bask in the media spotlight and say “Thanks a bunch Mr. President”.  You couldn’t even do that?

Must I remind you (and everyone who is reading that thinks I am a huge bitch right now) that you were not asked there because you cured Cancer, or figured out the trick to World Peace, you were asked there because you hit a puck (I was calling it a thingy before I read up about you) across the ice with a stick.  It takes as much talent to do that as it takes Kim Kardashian to plan a wedding.  You don’t see me caring what she thinks about politics do you?  I could care LESS what she thinks about government, she lives in a total fantasy world, and as far as I am concerned (and most of us are concerned) so do you.  You go to work to play a game every day……….and win or lose get paid WAY too much money.

Hey Tim, I got an idea!  If you are SO upset about the crisis in the country and SO worried about how the government treats us, why don’t you give up your paycheck and donate it to needy families.  I have a feeling that your salary could take care of MANY families, especially those that are just scraping by even though they drag their sorry asses to a dead end job EVERY DAY!  You know what?  I bet they would love to meet the President, even if it was to say that they were unhappy.  You are handed a golden ticket in life by PLAYING for a job, I think that it went to your head.

I doubt that anyone who was trashed at the playoff game and watched you help your team win would give a flying puck about what you thought about government.  They only cared about how you hit the puck (or blocked it as I am told, guess that is what you do).  The kids who have your poster on the wall – they REALLY don’t care what you think about ANYTHING actually.  They just want to grow up and be like their idol, Tim Thomas, and play a sport they love.  The groupies that want to sleep with you – they didn’t even know your name until you walked in the room, so ya, most likely – this little stunt won’t help (or hurt I guess) your status with them. If you had put your money where your mouth (or cup) is then I would not be writing this.  I would look at it more of an action of substance and less of a dick head move.

Thanks for reading Tim, and hopefully if you have are given an honor you don’t deserve again, you will accept it, say thank you, and move the hell on.

That’s all.
Eve Lynne

PS:  If you disagree and start pointing out actors who make political statements do your homework because MOST of them have put their money where their mouth is.  Even though I don’t always agree with them, I have to at least respect them and their point of view.

 

It’s Time

To ENJOY my blog. So – I will be making some changes. You will notice some posts gone…..that is ok, I did it, by choice. Others will stay. But don’t worry, it’s the same ol’ me…..promise.

Birkin…….Stocks? Not For Me

So while watching my new obsession “Celebrity Wife Swap” I noticed something about certain types of people.  It’s a trait that I had noticed many times in friends, family, co-workers, and of course strangers.  I noticed that outdoor types look DOWN upon us Divas and Divos (Divo being a male Diva). 

Now that stretches even further then Divas/Divos, this also stands for those folks who just would rather sleep inside then under the stars.   I hear all you earthy people calling me a bitch right now, and I hear your eyes rolling so far back that you see the inside of your organic brain, but it is something that I can no longer ignore.  It’s time to stand up to the Captain Camper!

When I am told by someone that they went camping, I listen to their story and nod, and say “Oh wow” and “that must have been lovely” when I am really thinking “Oh wow, can’t believe you did that for fun” and “that is my worst nightmare”….but I listen.  They are not making me roast hot dogs on an open flame surrounded by rocks; they are just telling me a tale of wilderness, campfires, and nature.  I respect that it’s something they enjoy, even though it incorporates all things that I hate.  Bugs for instance, don’t tell me there are no bugs in your tent, you are OUTSIDE.  That is where bugs live.  Sleeping on the ground – I don’t do that when I am drunk, you think I am going to do that for vacation?  Animals (that are not of the domesticated variety) (or are not my dog), I don’t do animals.  I eat them, and at times wear them (back off – they would wear us if they had thumbs), and I like to watch shows about the cute ones (SLOTHS)…..but I don’t want to hang out with them unless they are behind a barricade of some sort.  I like Chipmunks that sing, not steal food from my plate.  However, I still listen to the stories, and when asked if I would ever want to go I give a respectful, it’s not really my thing.  What that translates to is that I would make everyone there hate me with my constant whining, complaining, and bitching.

So after my polite “No thank you very much” I get this “Your one of those people aren’t you?”  Those people?  What in the name of couture do you mean by “THOSE PEOPLE”?  Those people who like to sleep in beds? You are correct.  Those people who like to have food cooked for them while on vacation?  Guilty as charged.  Those people who don’t want to share my space with 4 legged (or more legged) creatures?  Ya, I am just a freak….that’s me.  I don’t say “OH your one of those dirt eating ass wipes that like to cook raw flesh on stones”.  No – I don’t say that.  When someone says, “You’re missing out, there is nothing like sleeping under the sky at night.”   I don’t give some douche comeback like “Well I prefer to potty inside”.  Do you want to know WHY I don’t say those things?  Because I know that would be ignorant.  What these organic nuts don’t understand is that THEY sound ignorant when they are DISGUESTED by my Louboutins, Fendi sunglasses (four years people…four), and Gucci bags. I am equally as disgusted by their Jesus sandals, visors, and Coleman coolers – but hey, it’s their vacation, not mine. 

To all you judgmental tree hugging hippies – DON’T roll your eyes – DON’T give a sigh of disbelief – DON’T smirk.  Because the next time you do, I may just take my leather purse and hit you right in the all-natural kisser.  Just because I prefer Birkin bags to Birkenstocks doesn’t make me less of a human.

Can you tell I have not had bread since January 3^rd?

 

Conversations

It’s very strange how as you get older, the conversations you have with friends changes. I remember sitting with Blanche and talking about what shirts we bought at Wet Seal, and what tender (bar tender to you) would be working the night at “da club”. Now, we talk about death, life, religion, and family.

Yes, we talk about wine, but hey – no one is perfect. I like being old, it actually suits me. Now if I could just get cougar status we would be all set.

That’s all.
Eve Lynne
Tweet Me: @TheHeadDivaEve

Turning Time Back is NOT an Option

While I was watching the Lifetime movie premier of Walking the Halls (I think that is what it was called) that starred the amazing Jamie Luner (Cindy from “Just The Ten Of Us” all grownz up# I was thinking back to high school when I was a little non-diva, a Diva in training if you will.  Actually – I am being kind to my fragile ego, I wore Keds, GAP sweater sets, and Jordache, but didn’t we all?  Please tell me we all did…….  Well, my thinking led to that first time, that I realized that high school was over.  That I was on the path to being an adult.  That easy nights of riding around with friends, laughing and gossiping while watching SNICK were going to be what my Glory Days were.  My biggest problem was no longer finding the Sambuca for the Diet Coke, it was figuring out what I was going to do.

I did not take the college route #shocking, I know, instead I took the I work at the mall full time route.  I would like to go on record as saying I do NOT condone this, support it, or recommend it.  But – that is what I did.  I remember laying in bed one night listening to “Purple Rain”, what can I say I was born 10 years late, and thinking that this was it.  This was all – course, thank baby Jesus I was wrong.  However, it was a tough realization.  I realized that high school was officially over.   At this point things can go a few ways, college (nope),  part time mall (it looked like it),  or full time responsible big-girl job.  Again, let’s thank the Diva that wanted to emerge, because I was so damn materialistic that I decided to get a full time job so I could have a new car – Ford Escort bitches – and all the tacky clothes I wanted.

Well, it’s not until just today that I had my next HUGE realization.  Every decision I make (and have been making since entering the real world) greatly effects my life.  Dating people when you KNOW it’s the wrong thing to do can take 4,  COUNT THEM FOUR, years off your life….and looks.  Taking the wrong job can ruin a career, and being spontaneous can lead you back on the right path.  Ditching friendships can be fatal to your heart, but mending them can heal that.  Putting family first will always be a comfort, but staying in o a Saturday night could be time lost.

When did this happen?  At 18?  At 24?  At 30?  When did relaying on MY thought process become so damn important.  Because people not sure if you get it yet, but NO ONE should be relaying on MY thought process…..dude, not even me.  I need a chaperone for God’s sake in a damn CVS so I don’t blow my pay check on lipstick.

If I could turn back time, you know what, I would have done the same exact thing.  I very wise women explained this to me.  See, even if I know what I know now back then, I would have still done the same shit, because I am who I am.  We are who we are, that is why we do what we do.

Ah well, best to drink and not think about it to much then right?

That’s All Eve Lynne

Shoot me a Tweet: @TheHeadDivaEve

Life Swap

So now that they have resurrected “Wife Swap” as “Celebrity Wife Swap” I have an excuse to watch this bull shit show.  And by bull shit I mean totally AWESOME.  I was a fan of the original train wreck, but this is just reality show black tar heroin.  You can’t stop.  In fact, you want to watch again and again just to make sure you didn’t miss a “Busey-isim” or to make sure that Gayle Haggard didn’t call the gays Satan (I think she said SATIN)…..but either way.  As you know if you have been reading my blog or following me on Twitter (@TheHeadDivaEve) (shameless plug), I say there is always a lesson to be learned from reality shows.  NO – I do NOT just tell myself that to feel better, shut-up.  As with the original “Wife Swap” there is a lesson to be learned.  Never judge when you don’t know what is going on behind closed doors.

We all have the friend who has the PERFECT guy, or the co-worker with TONS of money (why are you taking my pay???), and even the super healthy guy at the gym, so happy, healthy, and what a big bright white smile!  Well, this is why we are shocked when the perfect guy has an extra girlfriend (of 7 years), or that the co-worker gets her car repossessed at work, or when that guy gets arrested for trying to boost a hooker.  We don’t live in that house, we don’t see it.  Yet we judge it.  We say – that girl must be a fool, that guy is great, she probably drove him away.  I was a victim of this, although my ex wasn’t cheating we broke up and people were shocked.  They didn’t see the fights, they didn’t see how he would order me around and they didn’t see when I spent rent money on Louboutins  (in my defense, it was payback bitch). They looked at me like it was my fault, just as they would look at that girl who lost the “perfect” man to a very handsome women.  The women who gets the car repossessed – did you know her husband is a deadbeat?  They mortgaged that house until it was the cost of the Spelling mansion, all to keep the Mercedes and Yurman jewelery coming.  They defined fake it until you make it, except they lost it.  The guy at the gym, he was boosting a hooker because she had the drugs he wanted.  We don’t know that his wife sleeps in the bedroom and he sleeps in the basement (when he is home).  From the outside everything is hunky-dory.

“Wife Swap” in a strange way, pointed these things out.  When you start watching, you get this idea of the families.  I always pick a side, that is what the show is for.  But then, even the side you picked seems a bit…well…….sad.  You find things out about the family.  The kids, they are not happy.  The wife, she eats her pain.  The other husband, CRAVING a home-cooked meal.  Nothing is as it appears.  And that is on T.V., can you imagine what it would be like to know them?  I have a feeling issues, problems, skeletons, and hidden food would float to the surface.  It’s a very strange way to teach a lesson the Catholic Church certainly failed to teach me – DON’T JUDGE.  When you see me at my crack dealers house, (I won’t reveal his name, but he has red hair, big shoes, and resides in a home with golden arches) don’t think – loser on a Friday…….you don’t understand, you don’t know.  Next time I see someone I care about make a BAD relationship choice, I should think back to a few years ago…. two words:  Chaz Bono.  And when I see someone who I deem drinks too much – I should remember my nights that luckily, I have learned from, because I certainly had my reasons, right or wrong, for doing what I did.

See, 1 hour of “Celebrity Wife Swap” didn’t turn my brain too mush.  I learned, I shouldn’t judge unless I can LIFE swap.

Let’s see if Jersey Shore (season 5 haters!!!) can teach me how to be a more responsible drunk.

That’s all.
Eve Lynne
Tweet me (like I said before):  TheHeadDivaEve

 

Nothing Funny About It

This week something very grown up happened.  We lost a parent (not mine thank God) but when you are a close group of friends, the first to lose a parent is hard to see.  It means a few things, we are growing up, people we love are getting older, and it is true – life isn’t fair.

It is also at this point when you start looking around, thinking about your own mortality, and your own life.  Who will be next, is someone else going to have a loss like this?

When you are little, you only think of the great things you will experience in life  Graduations, weddings, birthdays, showers, parties, births….the list goes on.  No one thinks about loosing loved ones, getting sick, or having to say good-bye to a friend.

Us girls, we are all into how we look.  I am not gonna lie, if being fat was hot, I would be typing this a lot slower because I would be licking the mayo off my hands as it oozes down from my double Whopper (with cheese of course).  But all of a sudden, I think about the fact that I will be turning 34 and need to start watching my health, not because I want to wear my 7 jeans again, but because I don’t want to die.

Now, I know you can’t predict what can happen but staying physically and mentally healthy needs to be a priority now.  It’s time to face it – we are getting older.

Who knows what the future holds for any of us.  But I can tell you that I am very thankful for my friends and of course my family.  We all lean on each other, and during these bad times – you find out who really is there for the long haul.

That’s All.
Eve Lynne
Follow me on Twitter: @TheHeadDiveEve
Feel free to email:  headdivaincharge12@yahoo.com

 

Day One of 2012

So how many of you started your resolutions today? I did! I only did what made me happy – and I liked it.

I think this may actually work out….

That’s all.
Eve Lynne
Tweet me: TheHeadDivaEve

Hello Lovely 2012

Epic Fail.  That describes my blogging over the past few months, so first, let me say sorry from the bottom of my Fendi clad little heart.

Second – the reason.  I have been working hard to make some changes.  They will be made.  And you will love them, swear, on my Louie you will be happy.

So every year I talk about my New Years’s resolutions, and I think (like most people), that they will easily be crossed off one by one.   Of course puppies will follow me around singing while I do this, and rainbows will spontaneously appear.  But this year having accomplished like one, and that was a bit half ass, I decided not to do that.  I mean, it’s easy enough to fail when you don’t set yourself UP for failure right?  So why do it.  But the other reason I am deciding to keep my New Year’s resolution simple is because of the things that I learned this year, and I am not talking about how to treat a bloody nose, although that is something not soon forgotten.

This year, I learned my worth.  I learned when I want to be good at something I am, but it takes work.  I learned that old best friends are not just that – they are forever best friends.  Old friends on the other hand turn out to be backstabbing bitches.  Best thing to do with backstabbing bitches, throw them away.  I learned that re-connecting with a best friend could never have a bad outcome, as long as you are both doing it for the right reason.  I learned that I am finally over it, but I will always be happy to sit at the Bitter Betty table once and a while.  I learned that no matter what people tell you money IS totally important, if for nothing else to keep yourself healthy and save your pup’s life.  I learned that sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, and don’t be sorry for it.  I also learned that it just is what it is, and you can’t fight it forever.  I learned that health, physical and mental, should be a priority in life.  I also learned that drinking a few bottles of wine a week is not considered to be healthy (who knew?).  I learned that even though wine isn’t as good for me as originally thought, I still drink it (whoops, let’s see how that fairs in next year’s lessons).  And to continue the stupid sayings, I learned that you never truly know what is going on behind closed doors.  And last but not least……yes, life IS short and you never know when it’s going to change.

With this said, I will make just TWO count ‘em TWO resolutions for 2012.  Drum roll please………..If it makes me happy – I do it.  If it doesn’t make me happy – I don’t do it.

Let’s see how this shakes out.

Happy New Years everyone – may you be happy, healthy, loved, and well dressed.

That’s All.
Eve Lynne
Tweet me  -  TheHeadDivaEve
Feedback:  Headdivaincharge12@yahoo.com

 

Changes…

Ok – to all my faithful followers, I know I have been quiet over the past few months, but changes are on the horizon.

I swear on my hair (which now has tinsel in it like Miz Maloof)

That’s all.
Eve Lynne